Poetry: Birthday Thanks

To celebrate my 50th birthday last week, here is a poem I wrote to friends & fam on my 33rd.

Apologies to all
For not returning your call
And thanks for the birthday wishes
I was in the midst of doing dishes
I turned off my phone
Perhaps to be alone
Not really – Went off to pee
No – not under a tree
Hit end ‘cuz I just knew
That it would ring while I was in the loo
Then I’ll simply have to admit
That I almost didn’t make it
For when I went to have a seat
I tripped over my own two feet
My phone took an airborne flight
And landed in the loo to my enormous delight
So that’s my so-called tale
I send to each of you in this loving email
I love and thank you all
And am deliriously happy you did call
A birthday wish for me
That all YOUR wishes come true – I decree
And wise advice – you must already know
Leave your phone elsewhere before you go…