Thursday, 16-Jul-2020 20:00:00 UTC
The United States government is trying to kill us. Or at least maim us. If not that then bankrupt us. How else can anyone justify the blatant incompetence in allowing 130k+ people to die, starve, untold businesses to bankrupt, and the country to crash and burn?
This is a culling and reboot.
In January 2017, Steve Bannon said they were going to burn it all down. There was uproar and dismissal.
Yet, here we are.
Friday, 17-Jul-20 11:00:00 UTC
An early morning at 4AM. What is sleep. I haven’t slept well since I spent the wee hours of 9-Nov-2016 dry heaving my terror. Who can sleep when the world burns.
Updates from Portland: Unmarked federal armed soldiers are disappearing protesters off the streets without the expressed permission of state officials in the guise of what DHS Act-Sec calls protecting property and community.
Remember how all that turned out for Germany, huh?
There are some disputing that Portland Mayor Tom Wheeler is feigning anger for political theater and that he’s collaborating with the Feds—aka the Gestapo according to the latest Twitter trend. And here I was calling ICE the new Gestapo years ago. Guess I wasn’t thinking big enough.
Meanwhile, the White House started removing and transferring data from the CDC to HHS. In other words, they’re trying to hide the dead and hospitalized.
Can you say transparency, boys and girls?
According to Robert Reich: “New York’s billionaire class saw their collective net worth grow by $77,300,000,000 since the start of the pandemic. For context, the state’s budget deficit for 2020 and 2021 is $13,300,000,000.” #EatTheRich or at least TAX THEM.
Protesters still protesting and police still brutalizing. #DefundThePolice
Personally, I started wearing my mask even when I go for a daily walk now even though I rarely encounter anyone. I haven’t gone out not once this month and only a few times since the lockdown began; that was only to the grocery store and always—ALWAYS with a mask and gloves.
Stay safe, y’all. ✌️
Friday, 17-Jul-20 17:40:04 UTC
After watching this—’White House press secretary Kayleigh McEnany on school reopenings: “The science should not stand in the way of this.”’ I recalled this quote from George Orwell’s Facing Unpleasant Facts: Narrative Essays: “Nazi theory indeed specifically denies that such a thing as “the truth” exists. There is, for instance, no such thing as “science.” There is only “German science,” “Jewish science” etc.”
Saturday, 18-Jul-20 14:18:35 UTC
John Lewis died—a Civil Rights Hero; Rest in Power, Brother; we will continue fighting your fight till death and keep up the good trouble. 139,278 people have died of COVID-19 in the United States; (Should I say murdered? Because that’s what it feels like); there are 3,649,087 people infected in the United States alone; “Every 15 minutes, 1,000 people are infected by Covid in the US and 5 people die from it. We have to get the virus under control—and fast,” according to Dr. Tom Frieden. Nearly half the United States population is without a job. Justice Ginsburg’s cancer has returned; every time her name trends, my heart seizes—EVERY FUCKING TIME. In Portland, Oregon, the Trump-Republican Administration’s Secret Police Force is brutalizing and disappearing people. And this morning, after a very rare really good night of sleep and in the midst of a mediocre dream, I woke and sat straight up in bed to the loud jarring sounds of a bush trimmer as it went full throttle right under my window—early on a Saturday morning.
Everything is awful.
Sunday, 19-Jul-20 14:01:12 UTC
When the lockdown started, a neighbor brought us handmade masks—fashionable fabric and very nice. We previously had lightweight store-bought masks for dusting (this is a lake town and you wouldn’t believe how dusty it gets here) and that other plague that visits every spring in the south that looks like Japanese Matcha Green Tea coating everything. We have several boxes of plastic gloves because of home hospice and gramma—who has now been gone since that long dreaded year this all began. Another neighbor brought us a gallon of Vitamin D Whole Milk she couldn’t use. Apparently she was one of those that bought too much at the onset (remember the twitter pic of the woman with 10-20 gallons of milk in her buggy that went viral? That wasn’t her but what single person buys more than a gallon of milk thinking they can drink it all before it expires??). I cannot stand the stuff and don’t drink it and haven’t for decades. I gave it to mom who was very appreciative. She’s one of those people that reveres cow’s milk going on and on about it ad nauseam. I’m constantly rolling my eyes on how much she venerates that stuff. It’s bizarre. She drank it till it went bad, which, she says, is usually 3-4 days past the expiry date.
Monday, 20-Jul-20 19:23:31 UTC
My elderly mother has thankfully chosen to err on the side of caution and finds—like me—the hubris in the face of nature and the callous disregard of care for the collective somewhat disturbing. They are tempting fate or god, she would say; me, the universe. Better a mask then a defibrillator, we both agree.
In response to Gov. Mike Parson saying “These kids have got to get back to school…. And if they do get COVID-19, which they will — and they will when they go to school — they’re not going to the hospitals…. They’re going to go home and they’re going to get over it.” My response: I’m not surprised. I wonder though how parents are gonna react to the Republican-Trump administrations’ callous disregard for the welfare of their children. I mean some voters have demonstrated that it’s ok when it’s other people’s kids, but what about their own. Is this like a generational boot-strap ‘I walked 3 miles in 4 ft of snow to school in barefeet’ sort of toughening up attitude that older generations belabor into us young’uns? ‘I survived coronavirus with only 1 lung; now you can too. Toughen up, you snowflake millennials.’
Given & assuming that they believe anyone under 70 is a snowflake millennial, that is.
And what about the people the kids go home too? The teachers and staff? The bus drivers?
STOP VOTING FOR REPUBLICANS; THEY DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU OR YOUR FAMILY & OBVIOUSLY NOT YOUR KIDS.
Usually there is some political spin in regards to Republicans attempting to deflect from their callous disregard. It has become blatant in the time of Trump—sociopathically blatant.
This report out of Texas of “…ants crawling over critically ill patients…” is horrifying.
Please think of others. Be selfless. ✌️
Tuesday, 21-Jul-20 19:16:12 UTC
Even before the pandemic, people wanted to drift into my personal space like I was a magnet—I dunno why. The first two times after lockdown I went to the grocery store appropriately masked and gloved, an older woman charged with helping the self checkout lane, got way too close and I started backpedaling away slowly as not to offend. Well, then the crazy peepo turned into even crazier peepo with cooties spitting and hollering up in folks’ face and I decided not to be polite anymore if and when subject to such actions. Fortunately, I’ve not been reduced to that as people have properly backed off. I haven’t gone out that much though. I’m also fortunate enough to work from home if only part-time and barely above minimum wage w/o benies. Regardless, social distancing and no touching when greeting should be the new normal—along with no small talk but that’s another issue altogether. Stay safe. ✌️
Wednesday, 22-Jul-20 18:16:33 UTC
Oorah 2020. #GloryHoles #Canada That’s it. That’s the post. Have fun diving into that Twitter hashtag.
Thursday, 23-Jul-20 19:49:34 UTC
4 million reported coronavirus cases. One million cases in 16 days.
This AOC speech is legendary. I hope I live—I hope we ALL live to see her President. Especially Mr. Yoho.
Big fat military helos flew low overhead today. Being 30 miles out of CLT & under a busy flight path, we get the air traffic pollution but THAT was jarring. Meanwhile, Operation Legend is dropping the Trump-Barr-Republican Admins’ Secret Police in cities around the country. I have zero fucks to give for the people that complain about me saying I fucking told you so. #Fascism is here. And BTW, the first draft of that Operation Legend Wikipedia page is garbage—using a child’s murder as an excuse and propaganda for the fascist takeover of cities is…is…[insert GIF of Munch’s The Scream].
Saturday, 25-Jul-20 13:30:46 UTC
There are some days I cannot drag myself out for a daily walk. I did not yesterday. I will not today. Nor tomorrow. I will do it Monday. Always Monday. Weekdays are mandatory.
Except for last Friday. 🥴️
Having had clinical depression and survived—sorta, I know that daily habits restore and form the foundation to alleviate the chaos of entropy; this to bolster ease and peace for a modicum of normalcy.
Whatever normal is—I’ve really never known it personally. 😳
In the words of Alica Florrick: “It’s the superficial things that matter most right now.”
I’m hitting 50 this year. Self-care is a big part of my overall mental health care. I find myself in the unusual position of being vain at the end of the world focusing on my beauty regime. I can’t protest for health reasons and protecting my elderly mother; normally, I’d be marching if I still lived in Raleigh. Alas, I’m stuck here in one of the very white, rich (we are not), ‘somewhat conservative’ suburbs along the I77 corridor to Charlotte, seizing on that modicum of normalcy. Besides discounted Kindle books, I look for big Clinique 30% off sales and lots of free samples mostly for cleaning and moisturizing my face. I’ve rarely worn makeup for the last ten years and my morning habits consisted of splashing cold water on my face, at best. I tried and love the Clinique Vitamin C Fresh Pressed products including the powdery cleanser and serums along with the moisturizing jelly and the Pep-Start Eye Cream. It’s restorative, energizing—I cannot get enough of the stuff. I also love the Clinique Pep-Start™ 2-in-1 Exfoliating Cleanser on the days I don’t use the powder cleanser, which I have to add is not the most environmentally-friendly packaging. I try and stretch the products out because of cost; this is a way of life for us poor lower income folks, like making the last bit of toothpaste in the tube last for four weeks along with eating food way past their expiry dates. This beauty routine has become something that makes me content and brings a fraction of serenity to my existence. That and my new electric toothbrush. More on that later.
The Trump-Republican secret police are MERCS. The stand against fascism in Portland grows. Apparently martial law is next. Timothy Snyder—whose book On Tyranny is a must read—lists “principles for the preservation of freedom” in a series of tweets.
Today and tomorrow are rest days. Sit in silence. Listen to the birds. Take deep breaths through the nose and clear those thoughts. 😘✊
Sunday, 26-Jul-20 13:22:30 UTC
At the beginning of the lockdown, I expected certain people, especially extroverts, to wig out due to all of the forced solitude—just not so gravely. I suspect a lot of families living in smaller abodes are craving solitude right about now, especially from kids. Reading Leslie Jamison’s Since I became Symptomatic was painful. I can see where this is clearly gonna do long-term mental harm to lots of folks. To attribute all this bizarre pandemic behavior to only a certain subset of people though excuses all the actual stupid people and psychos that do the most damage to society. I also acknowledge that much of this bizarre behavior reflects an unconscious reactive mental trauma to everything converging on us at once—some sort of cognitive dissonance to the shock and stress of it all. It’s not like we were already not stressed enough as it was. I didn’t think the behavior would be so extreme though. I read historical accounts of the 1918 flu and how something similar happened then, but again, not this extreme. As a society, the pandemic has exposed manifestations of greater endemic problems. I expect the deluge of 24-hour media (specifically Fox News) and the long-term effects of individualism have done lots of damage; whiteness and entitlement seem to be yet more pernicious symptoms; systemic racism, white supremacy, wealth inequality, lack of health care—both mental and physical—poor education, and on and on. This does not bode well for us as a country and our politicians certainly aren’t doing much for us except collecting a paycheck while telling us that giving us too much of our tax money will harm us—the nerve. Defecating and pissing in the floor of a business (I’m not linking to it) when asked to put on a mask so that you’ll not harm others feels more than a tad extreme and unhealthy; that’s not even the first account of this type of behavior when people—the majority white—are asked to wear masks to protect others. Wear a mask is the equivalent to don’t drink and drive—why do people have a problem with it?
Wednesday, 29-Jul-20 21:47:24 UTC
It’s enough to get out of bed lately. I’m behind on writing, trying to catch up. I’m avoiding social media as much as I can and still keep my sanity and be informed. The news is not good. Things are bad and getting worse. Watching excerpts of AG Barr’s testimony was infuriating so I limited that viewing. The corruption pervasive so much so it’s overwhelming. I don’t understand people that witness all that he, Trump-Republicans and pals have done and still wanna vote for them again. It’s ugly. They’re evil and I normally don’t throw around that word lightly. I’m not enthused about Biden. Never have been. I’m tired of old white men especially his blitheness about the past and his moderate to conservative record and wanting to work with Republicans—really? REALLY?!? The 21st century and beyond should belong to women. I’ll vote for Biden though grinding teeth as I do hoping that Trump et al go quietly without further damaging what’s already probably damaged beyond repair. Tillis had the nerve to send someone to my house. I gave him blunt answers without being rude. He was young and white and asked what the greatest threat to our country was? THE PRESIDENT AND REPUBLICANS. Are you interested in distance health-care? NO. I WANT UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE BECAUSE I HAVE NO HEALTH CARE AND HAVEN’T HAD ANY IN YEARS. As he went to leave, he looked like he was gonna hand me a Tillis placard and I gave him my ultimate bitch face. He abruptly left muttering a thank you.
Friday, 31-Jul-20 12:12:07 UTC
“Though I may not be here with you, I urge you to answer the highest calling of your heart and stand up for what you truly believe. In my life I have done all I can to demonstrate that the way of peace, the way of love and nonviolence is the more excellent way. Now it is your turn to let freedom ring.” — John Lewis
Can nonviolence be enough? It never has in the past. Some say nonviolence protects colonialism, white supremacy, and the ruling class for some neoliberal world order where the have not’s are greater in number than the have’s—purposefully. Everything in this statement fits. I said multiple times that ever since the Panama Papers leaked, the entire world has been upside down like it was a catalyst for rich people to reign in & reduce what little power they’ve allowed us. Include President Obama’s presidency—a Black man in power—to that as well; even if his presidency failed to live up to the many expectations we progressives had for it, he still inspire(d/s) us.
Reverend James Lawson, at John Lewis’ funeral, called out ‘plantation capitalism’—I stood, clapped, and yelled. President Obama declared the filibuster ‘a Jim Crow relic’ and I hollered a ‘yes, sir!’. Like Elie, I randomly weep when that man speaks. He’s by far the best president I’ve had in my lifetime; still, he had his issues—as imperfect as this union, he probably would say, I’m sure and I respect that. My political philosophy though has always been to consistently and relentlessly question those in power and their decisions. That philosophy will never change, for anyone, especially for those I regard who have the power to persuade—most especially for them. That’s why I’m not a Democrat or a Republican. I don’t trust either party; Republicans less so than Democrats. I’m also pragmatic.
Well, yesterday, it happened. Trump tweeted about delaying the presidential election. We knew this was coming ever since he came down that elevator. We yelled and screamed and warned y’all repeatedly. I saw many instances and heard bad things about Donald Trump since I was a teenager in the 80’s including his outright racism and horrifying demand that the Black kids in the Central Park jogger case be executed. There has always been rumors he was mixed up with the mob and corrupt as fuck. But still, y’all didn’t vote or had to vote for him cause of the emails lady and misogyny and here we are. Thanks for that. /sarcasm
Saturday, 01-Aug-20 16:45:08 UTC
Masks are like underwear; you need more than one; if not, y’all need to wash the one ya have. All those icky germs and body fluids. I started wearing a mask while walking because it seemed not only statistically and scientifically logical but ethical—plus this article. I don’t, however, wear that mask constantly while walking; I pull it down occasionally to my neck. Why? One, I rarely encounter anyone, and two, it gets all sweaty and smothering under there and I sweat a lot and have a sensitive nose; harsh smells disrupt my equilibrium sometimes making me physically ill—yeah, seriously. This is uncomfortable, and yet, I will not stop wearing my mask, especially around people. Why? Infecting someone is harming them, their family, their friends, and anyone they come in contact with aka society; harming someone is not moral nor ethical and hurts me more. Call it hypersensitivity or being a snowflake—whatever; I ain’t gonna harm someone and not wearing a mask may infect someone thus harming them. Does any of that make sense? Okay, now, we can discuss the gray area of the smells and the smothering and where and when one should wear masks; regardless, while around someone else, I wear a mask or pull it up over my nose and mouth. Period. I dunno if I have the rona; I haven’t been tested. I don’t have health care and I don’t have the $$ to spend for a test. While I’m statistically less likely to get infected because of being a white woman with O+ blood type, I am middle-aged and have some health issues. I also live with my elderly mum and I have a duty of care to her. I’ve had bronchial pneumonia before; it was horrifyingly painful; it took me over a month to recover and that’s being young and healthy without any medical care at all other than Aleve, rest, and lots of water and soup. I don’t want something worse. Wearing a mask is risk reduction, like wearing a seat belt or not driving drunk—better safe than sorry.
Sunday, 02-Aug-20 16:53:46 UTC
Let’s talk about protesting and Black Lives Matter and before you even read further, I wanna educate you on one >very important thing: BLACK LIVES MATTER. Now you may throw around that bullshit ALL word, but I’m just gonna nod you off with a shake and an eye-roll and say no, all lives don’t matter UNTIL BLACK LIVES MATTER; and if you continue to argue with me, I’m gonna do my best to continue to convince you because it is my duty as a white person and awkward ally that I am, I recognize and support that duty 551%; but if I see that you are being willfully obtuse simply for performance or theater, I’m walking away. I’ve dealt most of my life with racist family members who, even now, refuse to progress past that closed-minded biased/racist bullshit. I got tired of it and set up some boundaries finally for sanity and self-preservation reasons; I realized if they were gonna learn, it wasn’t gonna be thru me because I was inept at convincing them or there was the backwash of friction and history that was simply too great to overcome inadequacies; another reason is because I get emotionally reactive and rage about it—whatever, I ain’t perfect.
Back to protesting—normally, no matter a pandemic, you would find me downtown in Raleigh marching right along side (remember Moral Mondays & Dr. Rev. Barber?) and yup, wearing a mask. On May 25, 2020, Mr. George Floyd had the rona and was murdered by a cop. Our Black brothers and sisters are more likely to be murdered by the police than the freaking ongoing pandemic and if you haven’t done your research, BIPOC are dying at extremely alarming rates in this pandemic. Now if any of that doesn’t frighten you and provoke some compassion and empathy within the four walls of that conscious of yours, YOU ARE A SOCIOPATH. By attending/equating the protest of wearing a mask to the protest of BLACK LIVES MATTER, you’ve shown who and what is more important to you, your glaring entitlement, and how apathetic and cruel you are to the welfare of others. PERIOD. So, BLACK LIVES MATTER and DEFUND THE POLICE. ✊
Wednesday, 05-Aug-20 13:05:08 UTC
On an observational note, I register generational differences when discussing disasters like Beirut with the boomer generation and I’m wondering if this is more prominent in my immediate community or is this universal? The issue? The boomer immediately appropriates the conversation to discuss a local more individualized event or tragedy and centers it around their feelings before I’ve finished the current discussion. Perhaps it’s more of that pernicious whiteness and individualism manifestations? I’m not even sure if they’re aware of this. This has happened repeatedly among boomers—all white.
Total Confirmed Global COVID-19 Infections: 18,570,858; Global Deaths: 701,316.
Saturday, 08-Aug-20 16:11:22 UTC
You’ll note a hoard of grammatical and spelling errors in this here document: They are as they is and will forever be. It is a diary. I not gonna edit it. Please don’t make me.
Day 4 million 3 hundred 55 thousand and change: We still here. Total Global Infections: 19,425,393. Total Global Deaths: 722,303.
The gutting of the United States Postal Service has begun under the Trump-Republican authoritarian regime. There was also something about opening up the Grand Canyon to mine uranium. Sigh.
I’m still thinking about that Dinesh ‘Tr*mp is a cosmopolitan’ tweet. What kind of willful delusional perspective must one have to even get in the vicinity of a statement like that. After everything that has happened. It’s just bizarre & in the realm of idiotic, psychotic, etc. The lengths at which they still continue to slobber all over him is rank & diseased. Still now, it never ceases to alarm me the lengths at which they’ll go to defend the blatant cruelty & corruption. I know it shouldn’t surprise me—it does. I hope it never stops alarming me. When it does, you have my permission to yell at me. Please.
I paint. This is a 24×24 mixed media painting. It’s titled 2016 painted in that same year. I’m gonna have to do a theme because 2020 has blown 2016 out the water and into the ether.
Tuesday, 11-Aug-20 16:27:11 UTC
We live on a golf course. No, it’s not one of those big traditional modern houses with the vast green manicured lawns and a nice picket fence. It’s a puke-green duplex built probably in the seventies that needs a good gutting. The golf course is not a premo one. It, however, has it virtues for those that play, specifically old white men and few women. I rarely see BIPOC playing. There is no fence around the property and we regularly get visitors (or trespassers depending on who you ask)—all entitled white males—just walking around in our backyard like they own it looking for their hooked shots off the tee. Some even whip out their dicks and start pissing in full view of the house. Mum’s window faces the back and most of her retirement consists of playing games on her laptop and watching and listening to the birds and squirrels including the golfers. My mother, bless her heart, is a prudish creature and has this adverse overreaction to nudity and sex; so, when one of those men whip out their dicks, she, in no uncertain terms, lets me hear about—not them, ME. I tell her to come get me and I’ll yell at them, but no, she hates confrontation of any kind. Another disadvantage of living on this golf course besides the occasional dick swinging, pissing, and balls falling from the sky, are the gas-powered golf cart guzzlers that pollute the air for at least 20-30 minutes after they pass by. It’s like drowning in gas. Yet another reason to wear a mask. At the beginning of the lockdown, each cart consisted of a single golfer and had as many as five golfers thus five carts to a group. That didn’t last long. The players have been steady. The pandemic has not discouraged them. I wonder though the environmental trade-off of using all those gas guzzlers.
Thursday, 13-Aug-20 13:14:45 UTC
Global infections are at 20,651,113. The United States is the highest at 5,197,749. Global deaths at 750,030. The virus has reached the suburbs. Children infected by the thousands forced to go to school or compelled to because their parents work or they don’t have enough food to eat—yes, children go to school to feed themselves because they don’t have food at home. It’s disturbing and pathetic. The United States is a shit hole country. College football seasons canceled. Republicans seem more upset about no sports than about the 166,038 deaths. It’s disgusting. I try not to loathe them so thoroughly. I fail. The destruction they have wrought demands hostility and resentment. They care more about themselves, their power, and their money than about the people in their care. Do I have anything good to say about the Democrats? Sigh. I like Kamala. I read her book and it was good. I voted for Elizabeth Warren and wanted a Warren/Harris ticket and while Kamala’s record is as progressive as Warren’s, I’m afraid she’ll allow Wall Street to walk all over her. Let’s hope not. I want Elizabeth Warren to take McConnell’s place as majority leader. I don’t want moderates to hijack and support the same neoliberal agenda that is killing us all. Then there is this: 😳
“If Donald Trump refuses to leave office at the expiration of his constitutional term, the United States military must remove him by force, and you must give that order.”
What a nightmare this has become.
Tuesday, 18-Aug-20 13:38:20 UTC
The 2020 DNC launched last night. I’m not watching. I’m tired and I’m running on limited hope. I certainly don’t want to disabuse someone of theirs so I’ve decided to keep my mouth shut and read, write, and paint for now until I can inspire myself to have confidence in the people and the system that has given me scant lately—or ever. I do want to note the difference in the vegetation—how brilliant and expressive and bright it all is. I recall reading a science article on how the rising carbon dioxide emissions will cause a greenhouse effect and sure enough, it has. A tree nearby flowered that has never flowered before—bright orange petals peeking through leafy greens. Mushrooms popping up all around—most brown and earthy; others eye-poppingly red. Normally flowering trees that blossom and shed once summer arrives remain blooming long after, rich and heavy with color. Grass green and vivacious, lush and thick. This, of course, is a defensive mechanism in nature. There’s beauty there.
Thursday, 20-Aug-20 20:04:56 UTC
The stuttering sparks of hope stirred in the night and more this morn. Let’s hope it continues to burn brighter. What fired that flame? I watched the DNC convention and it appears that the Democrats have finally taken the threat of authoritarianism seriously given the speech by our beloved President Obama. This morning that hope sparked again in the wee corners of the SDNY with the indictment of Steve Bannon, the architect of the burn-it-all-down theme. We’ll see. It, of course, didn’t last long as Speaker Pelosi went center-right, again. It’s like I said: the Democratic party seems to be transforming themselves into a conservative-libertarian party since the Republicans have gone full authoritarian. I expect this will continue and Progressives will likely have to create their own party. I am no joiner and an Independent. A Progressive party though will be hard to resist for me. We’ll see if Democracy even survives that long. Global infections: 22,511,187; Global deaths: 789,728; United States deaths: 173,798.
Wednesday, 26-Aug-20 14:06:59 UTC
That hope did not last long. I’m tethered to my pragmatic cynicism due to realistic situations and prior experiences. To call it anything but pragmatic cynicism would be dishonest. The DNC convention was like watching a bunch of unicorns, puppies, and rainbows playing while trapped in a burning house. The fawning over their candidate created such repugnance within me that I just couldn’t. Even had the MSNBC announcers going on about it. My disdain for those in power reached another level these past few years. People I used to venerate have all but become tools of greed and power and an unjust system that has no plans but flattering another dear leader whilst collecting yet more money and power. It’s gross. The RNC convention is a Klan/Nazi rally. Those people are evil. I no longer hesitate when using that word to describe them—they are evil. That Dems won’t call them out while campaigning to get their votes is evidence of a broken system; not to mention examples of dubious morals and ethics. As Republicans stand in front of cameras spewing their hate while breaking laws left and right, California burns; people are still dying in the thousands daily of COVID; police are murdering and brutalizing Black people and protesters; billionaires and rich people are getting more rich and powerful; corporations are relentless in the quest for power and money urging deregulation and union busting enslaving citizens to them via late-stage capitalism; the environment and climate change worsens by the minute; and now a double hurricane churns violently in the Gulf Coast towards Texas and Louisiana. If Trump and crew get a second term, we are finished as a country—probably as a world. A hostile foreign power will come in and sweep up and freedom will be no longer because that’s exactly what Trump et al wanted—to burn it to the ground. The police state, corruption, and the oligarchy have given rise to authoritarianism in the United States and totalitarianism will eventually sweep across the globe.
The future is bleak. Or not. [shrugs] What do I know—I’m just a college dropout.
Saturday, 29-Aug-20 17:58:50 UTC
#acab. Also, rest in power, King #ChadwickBoseman #WakandaForever
Tuesday, 01-Sep-2020 14:53:14 UTC
I’m reducing my Twitter time and doomscrolling down to the very minimum a day. It’s interfering in my ability to write and be creative and affecting my mental health. Also, I’m pissed at the Democrats for being a mouthpiece for rich peepo and cops. It’s the same bullshit. Of course I’m going to vote for them because of expediency and pragmatism—I fucking hate that I have to; however, that orange fascist & his evil minions will bring us all to our dooms. I’ll be grinding teeth as I do vote for the Democratic candidate (and Democrats down ballot). I don’t like him. I never have. He’s far too conservative and what he did to Anita Hill can never be forgiven. It maybe can—it would take a lot. So, I’ve spammed/unsubscribed from all the political emails and texts and will focus on writing, painting and reading. I’m still a part of the resistance; I simply need to take a step back and breathe before all the shit goes down this Fall. And, my 50th birthday is this week—Yay me. 😬 BTW, please pay attention to Louisiana. People are in dire need there. Global Cases: 25,523,948; Global Deaths: 851,572.
Tuesday, 01-Sep-20 22:01:34 UTC
In season two episode four of Farscape, a ‘sinister, light-loving alien’ called a T’raltixx boards Moya ‘under the pretense of adjusting her electromagnetics to make her untraceable.’ In actuality he convinces Pilot to dial up Moya’s bioluminescence to energize him with light from pulsars and Moya while simultaneously draining Moya and Pilot but also working to turn the crew against each other by his overall affect on them. Here is the much better longer summary of the episode. Anyway, there’s a scene where the T’raltixx is wired into Moya and he screams ‘More light! I need more light! More light!’ And he keeps screaming this over and over again and I think of this scene when all of these Democrat political emails drop in my inbox asking for money. ‘Give me more money! I need more money! More money!’ And it’s nonstop probably around fifty plus emails every week at least. And I’m fucking done with it. For a group that’s supposed to be working to undo Citizen’s United, it sure ain’t working very hard at it. They all going into the spammer from now on. I’m done dealing with it.
Wednesday, 02-Sep-20 15:20:00 UTC
If you avoid 24 hour news like I do but wanna keep informed besides Twitter, Rachel Maddow podcast is illuminating. Rachel is witty and asks great questions and has a great team. Her bias probably leans corporate center left in the scheme of things. She does tell real people’s stories and focuses on the victims which is something that is important and should be done more. I’m not a connoisseur of these types of shows though. I would say emphatically without a doubt that Fox ‘News’ is not News and should be classified as fascist white supremacist corruption propaganda. If there’s a shorter label for that, drop a comment below. Hear to Slay is apparently another great podcast with Dr. Roxane Gay and Dr. Tressie McMillan Cottom—two fantastic smart black women that wade through the bullshit. It’s subscription based and on my list when I save enough pennies.
Friday, 04-Sep-20 13:40:21 UTC
Of the recommendations of science writers who have written extensively about COVID-19, Ed Yong of The Atlantic eclipses them all. His writing style deconstructs the complexities of the science and the sociopolitical intricacies to a clear and manageable, easily and enjoyable—despite the subject—read. Of the many essays I’ve read from the people infected with COVID-19 or those of their families, two evoked such discomfiting emotions that I immediately took a walk to recommune with nature to harmonize, readjust, and find my way out of their trauma. Leslie Jamison’s Since I Became Symptomatic and now Jesmyn Ward’s On Witness and Respair: A Personal Tragedy Followed by Pandemic. I still recoil at the hubris in the face of nature—that those apathetic to the collective suffering boast and parade their disregard with pride and enmity in the guise as a fight for liberty. That disgust I feel on their inability to find kindness in their hearts will never, ever go away. That they seize on this malice with the same glee and craze given to their despotic leader leads me to conclude that they’re in the midst of their own pandemic rabid with hate and evil, festering with the rot of ignorance and hysteria. Remember the movie 28 Days Later? Yeah, that. Danny Boyle and Alex Garland depicted it perfectly.
Wednesday, 09-Sep-20 20:44:59 UTC
Well, the sky is red; the Earth burns on one end and drowns on the other; and, if that doesn’t beat all, some idiot nominated that orange monster for a peace award. I wonder if the intent was ironic. At home, I made it to the half century mark last week, which is remarkable in and of itself because I never imagined making it past 43. Welp, it’s early and the sky is red and the orange monster is unleashed, so, there’s that yet to evolve. We’ll see.
Friday, 11-Sep-20 13:03:33 UTC
My weekly schedule is fairly established. I try not to vary it any. My iPhone bedtime alarm is sent Monday thru Friday at 6 AM; do not disturb on 9 PM to 9 AM every day. I make it a point not to hit snooze. I turn the alarm off completely. If I’ve had a good night’s sleep, I’ll get up; if not, I go back to sleep and wake up whenever—usually 1-2 hours later; sometimes not even that but 15-30 minutes. I used to reach for my phone and immediately start doomscrolling. I would spend an hour in bed doing that so I stopped. I also removed all Twitter notifications from my phone—for now. I have coffee and a pint glass of lemon water. Then I write—or try to till noon in silence or with music; no TV. In between all that, I have a breakfast smoothie normally around 10ish then I walk/exercise/yoga/weights for about 30-60 minutes. I drink a cup of caffeinated green tea around noonish. I take a very quick shower to wash the sweat and sunscreen off (always use sunscreen; a hard lesson I infrequently applied when I was young—PUN!). I spend about 10-20 minutes on my facial regimen; it’s meditative and relaxing. I sign on to work 12ish and stay on till 5ish; I keep an already watched TV show running in the background while working. I try to eat a light dinner from 3-5 PM then follow with a cup of decaffeinated green tea; I like to fast for at least 14-16 hours overnight every night. I spend a couple of hours relaxing, watching something new on television while playing an addictive mahjong iPhone game on and off. I take another shower because it helps me sleep; usually quick but sometimes a little longer just to indulge (I learned to take quick showers when I was a kid and much poorer because we had well water or very small water heaters so the habit of ‘don’t waste the water’ is ingrained and never really goes away). I turn the TV off then read for 2-4 hours. I try and get at least 8 hours of sleep but its impossible the older you get, especially during all this. Perimenopause wreaks havoc on my sleep schedule too. On the weekends, sometimes I keep the same schedule and sometimes I don’t or vary it just to break up the monotony, except I don’t set the alarm. I do try and watch at least two new movies a weekend. I was watching a Pixar movie a weekend on Disney+ but after watching the Toy Story movies all day one day, I kinda got burned out. I’ll start again eventually cuz I have many more to watch. Yes, I live an exciting life—other than the occasional traveling and dining out, it’s just like I like it.
Saturday, 12-Sep-20 17:40:30 UTC
United States COVID19 Cases: 6,462,169
United States COVID19 Deaths: 193,215
Tuesday, 15-Sep-20 18:54:38 UTC
The latest horrifying news out of the US immigrant concentration camps is that a whistleblower has exposed that there were forced gynecological procedures including hysterectomies performed on migrant women without their consent or knowledge. Place this in another in a long line of inhumane treatment of BIPOC women at the hands of the United States government. I really got nothing more. The sheer ugliness of it is disgusting, evil, and immoral. It infuriates me. There is no rationalization of atrocities like this. You cannot say you vote for a person that does this kind of thing and then pretend you’re taking the high road. This is downright evil. You cannot claim any kind of religion and then be okay with this.
Thursday, 17-Sep-20 19:50:40 UTC
The Los Angeles Times reported that ‘China’s ‘purification’ of classrooms: A new law erases history, silences teachers and rewrites books’ and I retweeted it along with ‘Authoritarianism — Totalitarianism 101 Conservatives, Evangelicals, White Supremacists love doing that here.’ It was a good read and I recommend it. Today we learn that the orange buffoon is issuing an executive decision to establish ‘patriotic education’ The thread is here. When are the reeducation camps opening? Or the Trump Youth? Open your eyes; these are right out of the Nazi, Authoritarianism, Totalitarianism, & Fascist playbooks.
COVID-19 United States Cases: 6,657,009
COVID-19 United States Deaths: 197,364
Saturday, 19-Sep-20 16:34:05 UTC
A wonderful person and a brilliant jurist has died. I’m not sure I can place into words how much Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg meant to the people, especially the women, of this country. She will long be remembered as a person with grace, honor and the intellectual excellence that put many of her challengers, as well as current and former SCOTUS Justices, to shame. There will never be another like her. That her replacement will likely be filled by an inferior Trump-Republican authoritarian administration who hold very little respect for the rights of women and the marginalized, all but guarantees suppression of freedoms for decades to come, and dooms our country to even harsher oppression and austerity measures, including an inhumane theocracy that has no regard for human life as evident in their many atrocities already committed. If you thought before was bad, you lack imagination. The Handmaid’s Tales was never fiction and now seems even more probable.
Rest in power & peace, RBG. You will be missed and we are in deep, deep trouble.
Monday, 21-Sep-20 16:26:19 UTC
I’ve turned off iPhone notifications, avoiding both social media and anything news-related almost entirely. I growl at Y-chromosomes that endeavor to cross my path and double-dog-dare any Republican to engage within ten feet of me—I will burn your ass regardless of consequences. I loathe the right, their infinite hypocrisy; their faux principles claiming a counterfeit Jesus religion dressed as scantily clad moral righteousness masking evil power-hungry dogmatism and fascism. I’m furious at the Democrats and President Obama for their feckless approach to governing in valuing a bipartisanship that was and has always been historically one-sided against a party that valued power and money over principles and human life while strategically fucking us over and over infinitum. I’m livid at Bernie Bros and the left and their thinly-veiled misogyny towards Hillary Clinton and women in general and the temerity to disguise it as some kind of fabricated Democratic Socialism when it’s just another form of patriarchal subjugation. I’m raging and in no mood.
Tuesday, 22-Sep-20 10:19:39 UTC
Oh, the cruel and capricious tales of Jxxxxe slumlord. WWJD? Take her renters to court to evict them in the middle of a pandemic & economic depression. What a champ! Gotta love that arbitrary compassion those Jesus devotees don and pontificate yet narrowly heed; and, those oh-so-treasured historical relics of feudalism vis-à-vis late stage capitalism. Hoorah-cha-ching hashtag Jesus loves landlords!
And yes, allow me to upend my entire schedule for a man to make his life easier because that is what all women are put on this Earth for since men are such fragile dim-witted creatures that whine about the most miniscule of things and cannot possibly live nor achieve or be the least bit capable without stepping on the back of a woman to do so. Gotta love the patriarchy. /sarcasm
Tuesday, 22-Sep-20 18:42:46 UTC
No, my fury has not abated. You’ll get my wrath for a little while longer. For, at least, as long as the Republicans are cowardly enabling power-hungry bootlickers and the Democrats are feckless morons who have no plan to get us out of this hell. So, yeah, bring on the rage and if you come at me, you best not miss.
Monday, 28-Sep-20 18:40:22 UTC
Coney Barrett is using & will use her gender, religion & platform to take away women’s rights period ultimately oppressing ALL women. There is no spinning that. A vote for her is a vote AGAINST women and all marginalized.
Monday, 05-Oct-20 16:57:58 UTC
A neighbor put up a huge Trump flag. Even before the flag, I deduced they were Trump supporters because they appeared to be the stereotypical Trump voter. I’ll let you do your own deductions on what that looks like. Anywho, I pointed it out to someone and may have mentioned ‘white trash’. The person in question scoffed and became righteous at my use of ‘white trash’—again, I’ll let you deduce why. I said and I quote “Donald Trump is a white supremacist ergo if you support Donald Trump, you support white supremacy.” There was a ‘I don’t support him but…’ and before the but got out, I reiterated my prior statement: “Donald Trump is a white supremacist ergo if you support Donald Trump, you support white supremacy.” Today, there was a tweet: “The most chilling aspect of the last four years is knowing that 40% of this country cannot recognize evil when they see it. What’s your take?” I recommend glancing through the replies and philosophically pondering this question and others: What’s your definition of evil? Do you believe that you’re incapable of evil? Do you believe anyone is? Do you feel you have a bias when it comes to recognizing it within your own group? (i.e. family, friends, people you support or are loyal, political parties, etc.) Philosophically pondering the vagaries of good and evil is a good use of time and I urge it. Chilling to me is not only that Americans incapable of recognizing evil, some are actively supporting it (pointing at neighbor et al), while others are actively enabling this support—including one entire political party—with excuses and apologies, as well as passively enabling with complacency. There’s been an infinite number of theses that talk about why the people of Germany supported the Nazis or stood by why the Holocaust was being perpetrated within their own country and what happening now is a good example of how and why. I urge you to think seriously about this.
Saturday, 10-Oct-20 14:00:04 UTC
Sometimes the influx of news is so overwhelming, one has to take a step back and sit and watch it all in silence—meditate on it till a peace envelopes. Ultimately you realize that you cannot control the situation no matter what you do; you only can control how you react to it. The Trump-GOP authoritarian regime has a negative energy at its core consuming everything it touches and then some. Its tentacles are rapid and poisonous and injurious. There is nothing it touches that it doesn’t leech into and destruct with its dehumanized harm. It erases joy and brings with it a bleakness that depletes and exhausts, shamelessly delighting in the evil and destruction it has caused. I’ve been pondering on what it means for the people living under long periods of autocrats or totalitarian societies where the hope depreciates daily or even hourly till they have no more, and, perhaps this is a reckoning of empathy to colonialism and the white supremacist capitalist patriarchy; not only a reckoning but perhaps a portent to what continuously hovers at the edge and even throughout any civil and moral society—that there are everlasting negative forces perpetually willing to commit shameless, corrupt, and unethical acts to achieve and power and supremacy and remain there and even the slightest nudge could upend it at any given time. Does the bad outweigh the good? We’ll see. In my life, I’ve had very little faith in people especially politicians or people in power. The unethical shameless dehumanized greedy power-hungry corruption of the Republicans and the ineffective irresolute centrism of the Democrats left me with a bad taste for both parties long ago. I most align with and vote for Democrats, yet, over time, they’ve become impotent and aimless failing to direct and administer progressive policies while the Republicans purposely continue to eliminate and reduce what little agency we have or ever had. I may not be giving Democrats the benefit of the doubt—no matter because basically, what it comes down to is that I have to have faith in them; I have to trust that they will be our superheroes; that they will overcome those poisonous power-hungry tentacles of corruption and shove through, destroying the ugliness of fascism to deliver freedom and joy and morality and ethics and fairness and ultimately, humanity. Because right now? The only thing the Trump-GOP authoritarian regime is bringing is death and destruction; they are the true anarchists. So, we have to hope the Democrats are our heroes. Or else? …
Wednesday, 21-Oct-20 13:40:51 UTC
I did not watch any of Amy Coney Barrett’s confirmation hearings. I did, however, read the summaries. That the GOP chose to replace such a brilliant jurist with such a mediocre inexperienced one proves intent in that this a political power move bent on not only disenfranchising voters by keeping a minority rule but also removing those same voters’ freedoms. As Mark Joseph Stern tweeted: “…tonight’s order from the Supreme Court is terrifying. Four conservative justices supported a radical theory that would empower state legislatures to violate election laws and engage in voter suppression with impunity. Only Roberts balked.” Coney Barrett considers herself an originalist in regards to the constitution. When asked what that meant, she replied: “That means that I interpret the Constitution as a law, that I interpret its text as text, and I understand it to have the meaning that it had at the time people ratified it. So that meaning doesn’t change over time. And it’s not up to me to update it or infuse my own policy views into it.” The problem with constitutional originalism is that she wouldn’t be a jurist or even allowed to vote if she truly believed that. As Ron Charles best put it: “And what are we to make of her professed reverence for ‘the meaning that it had at the time people ratified it’? Barrett’s description, popular among wistful conservatives, assumes that the meaning of the Constitution was once self-evident, stable and universally agreed upon. But none of those conditions is or was ever true. When we read, we can’t exclude the subjective act of interpretation because that’s what reading is. In Barrett’s fantastical framing, the judge’s role is merely to open the Constitution like a metal box and remove the immutable gold coins stored within. If language were such a system, we wouldn’t have to interpret it, and we wouldn’t need judges. We would merely carry things around and hold them up: ‘rock,’ ‘egg,’ ‘chair.’ Originalism is just a slick rhetorical maneuver to privilege one’s own views as objectively primary. To use a technical legal term: That’s poppycock.” It is more imperative than ever that we increase the number of SCOTUS judges. Why? Democracy is at stake. As I’ve stated repeatedly: Coney Barrett is using & will use her gender, religion & platform to take away women’s rights period ultimately oppressing ALL women. A vote for her is a vote AGAINST women and all marginalized.
Worldwide COVID cases: 40,886,174; Deaths: 1,126,379
US COVID cases: 8,275,249; Deaths: 221,083