Pandemic Diary 2021

In response to a Book Riot and Out of the Box essay on documenting the personal experiences of the pandemic, this timeline will also be in correlation to the new Biden-Harris administration and the continued malfeasance and autocratic menace of the Trump-Republican fascists. Any and all essays on the subjects will be posted here as links.


  • Wednesday, 20-Jan-21 12:27:30 UTC

    🎵 It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new diary…for me, and I’m feeling good 🎵

    Happy Inauguration Day!

    Worldwide COVID cases: 96,269,168; Deaths: 2,059,772
    US COVID cases: 24,254,283; Deaths: 401,777

  • Wednesday, 27-Jan-21 18:55:38 UTC

    For a couple of weeks, my organs felt like they were expanding, pressing on my ribcage. It was very uncomfortable. I had some significant digestive issues. I’m unsure if it was covid. I’m going through perimenopause so my whole system has been imbalanced on and off for a few years now. I have no healthcare so I have to be my own health detective and find what’s wrong when something odd or painful is happening. So, you can imagine how confused and paranoid I get when something like this is happening during a pandemic. I also thought I had breast cancer—I still could, but since I don’t have healthcare and in the middle of a pandemic, what exactly am I supposed to do about it?

    Republicans have gone passed the Rubicon when it comes to Democracy. They are complicit in the violence and the insurrection in a coup to overturn a free and fair election in order to keep an autocrat in power. That they will not impeach and hold Trump and his minions accountable is evident that they have no interest in ‘unity’. Democrats need to kill the filibuster, a Jim Crow relic, and drive full force up the center of the field and that’s the only sports metaphor I’ll ever use here.

    Worldwide COVID cases: 100,584,555; Deaths: 2,166,299
    US COVID cases: 25,504,894; Deaths: 426,907

  • Friday, 05-Feb-2021 16:52:05 UTC

    My elderly mother had a chance to get the vaccine and she didn’t take it. I wish I could say I’m surprised—I am not. I made my argument time after time about this not only being about her but about everyone around her; she still didn’t go. There’s only so much I can do. It’s the same with voting; she’s a Republican but hasn’t voted in years and still defends the party and its values. It’s incomprehensible to me. She calls herself a Christian but what Christian can honestly support what Republicans represent. How can I relate one to the other? Easily—what this comes down to are principles. A comment I placed on a WaPo article this week: “The compassion and lack of empathy in these comments demonstrates what’s truly lacking in this country. For a country purportedly and mythically (per Republicans) centered around the Christian core edicts of pro-life, selflessness, and charity, these same people continually choose to embrace cruelty, avarice, and bigotry overriding any of the more benevolent convictions. WWJD has become WhatWouldTheRepublicanPartyDo. What they repeatedly and willfully fail to recognize is when you invest in the vulnerable and poor, you invest in yourself, your family, the country, and the world—in humanity. How is that complicated? The pros far outweigh any cons.” I’ve never really been able to talk to anyone in my family about…anything really. There was once a person but they became someone totally different in the last…oh, decade. I’m hoping someone else can reach them since I am unable to effectively. I fear Dems have shot themselves in the foot by means testing pandemic survival checks. This will come back to bite them during the midterms not to mention a lot of families are in dire need regardless of what they made in 2019. Allowing moderates and Republicans to nickel & dime them to death is the same ole same ole. Dems habitual shortage of abstract thinking enrages me each and every time and they do it constantly. It never fails. They never seem to means test tax cuts for billionaires and corporations. Manchin continuously pulls the party’s pants down around their ankles when they attempt to make a run towards progress.

    My digestion problems continue. That I internalize my stress doesn’t really help.

    Worldwide COVID cases: 105,048,430; Deaths: 2,288,655
    US COVID cases: 26,691,738; Deaths: 456,295

  • Saturday, 06-Feb-21 17:14:15 UTC

    I wanna state emphatically that I’m a secular humanist atheist. Religion does not have the monopoly on morality, especially Christianity. Some of the most barbaric acts recorded in the written history of humanity takes place in the name of the Abrahamic religions—Christianity in particular—and that’s not even including what’s written in the Christian King James Bible. I get tired and aggravated at having to address people on the precepts of their own religion when, as an atheist, I should really know better as experience has shown that tagging their twisted interpretations of morality or lack thereof with a religion is typical fascist fare. I try not to be myopic when dealing with Republicans and their so-called Evangelical Jesus Christianity and recall that this has been essential to their distorted underpinnings since Reagan—how they’ve systematically centered and perverted it into something malignant and ugly focalizing that worldview as the main and only worldview. I suppose it is the indoctrination I’ve been subject to since birth. It gets freaking annoying that sometimes I cannot seem to shake myself of it. It triggers something latent, especially when discussing family. It’s so freaking tedious. Establishing a worldwide coalition of compassionate empathetic individuals that truly believe in equality and fairness for all people in all things should always be the floor not the ceiling—can we, at least, agree and build on that while understanding that WE should mean freaking everyone and it has absolutely not.

    Recommendation of today—Saving the House We Built: Critical Conversations on Contemporary Politics “UNC’s Department of African, African American, and Diaspora Studies hosted this discussion with presentations by UNC-Chapel Hill faculty members, Dr. Tressie McMillan Cottom, Prof. Erika Wilson, Dr. William Sturkey, and Dr. Sharon Holland. Co-moderated by Dr. Ronald Williams and Dr. Kia Caldwell.”

    Worldwide COVID cases: 105,534,273; Deaths: 2,303,322
    US COVID cases: 26,822,829; Deaths: 459,895

  • Wednesday, 17-Feb-21 11:56:37 UTC

    I’m about 75% sure I had some form of the virus. Symptoms were pink eye and digestive issues. I still could have it. Both symptoms seem to be gradually curtailing. It wasn’t pleasant. I felt like I was rotting from the inside out; that my organs were expanding pressing on my ribcage. Like I wrote prior, I am also going through peri/menopause and that is and has been kicking my ass for what feels like forever. Peri/menopause is like detoxification from hormones and while that may sound mild, it is not—not for me. Basically at middle-age our bodies start decaying and we have to do everything in our power to keep it even mildly capable; cut back on unhealthy foods to none whatsoever, sleep is a priority, and exercise—you must get and move at least 45 minutes a day, every day. You may say ‘well, I do that already’—I did too, sis. Brutal. I started writing essays on what I was going through years ago. I’ll post them eventually. There is not much information out there about peri/menopause, especially medically and since I have no health insurance…well, sigh.

    I went off on the Dems 13-FEB. I am not a Democrat or Republican; Republicans are racist and greedy and some are downright evil—there are very few actually good Republicans; Democrats are far too moderate and feckless for my tastes and often fail to make many compelling dynamic decisions while in power; and, I basically am not a joiner; I don’t like joining groups that conform and comply to a certain prevailing mindset without critical examination and while Democrats are better at it than Republicans, they still fail, lots. So, I’m an Independent or unaffiliated voter. I would join a Progressive party though. I cannot stand DJT—loathe him and his bootlicking bitches; he and the Republican party are a scourge on the US and the world and there was no way in hell that Republicans were ever going to vote for impeachment—they haven’t the moral capacity right now to save their mothers. Republicans have this distorted sense of loyalty over honor. I made that mistake before in the past where I chose loyalty to a friend over honor and it harmed other people; I won’t make that mistake again. Republicans have replaced any sense of virtue with an unhealthy perverted form of fealty to DJT—it is a cult, nothing more. Raskin, Plaskett and the Impeachment managers put together a brilliant case and then Democrats blew it in the end when, after getting a vote for witnesses, they decided to only read one statement into testimony. Man, I fumed—I am still outraged. Once again, Dems snatch defeat out of the jaws of victory, like so many of my fellow tweeters wrote. We were all just flabbergasted at that choice. It was the typical demonstration of the Democrats ability to choke while in power. Here’s hoping the NAACP et al can pick up the slack because DJT and his neo Nazis are already waiting on the sidelines getting ready for a comeback Ă  la Hitler.

    Worldwide COVID cases: 109,604,779; Deaths: 2,421,283
    US COVID cases: 27,757,505; Deaths: 488,100

  • Friday, 26-Feb-21 13:11:42 UTC

    I’ve been reading and writing and limiting Twitter. I needed another break from it. The older you get, you’ll realize that your time is precious and you wanna use it accordingly towards absolute hedonistic pleasures—I count reading and writing amongst those hedonistic pleasures. I do have a canvas on my easel that has been half-painted and sitting there for 1-2 years now that I’m starting to formulate the final image. I dunno if I can accomplish it, but I’ll give it a try if my paints are not all dried up by now. Art materials are expensive.

    I was reading an opinion in WaPo on Hollywood and abortion: On TV, abortion is the road less traveled. Life’s not like that that really fired me up. I’m a semi-enthusiastic commenter on WaPo and do my best to be an objective opinionated one given that commenters are usually basically trolls and trash. WaPo’s commenters tend to be better than most, but still… My comment on this Kate Cohen opinion: Yes, this! Thank you for this. I thought it was just me that raged at Hollywood’s willfully obtuse refusal to progress. Hollywood still continues to be quite conservative—wealthy, white, heteronormative, and Christian. I’ve also noticed a sharp rise in nuanced anti-choice cultural content slipped casually into the mainstream. This latest surge in misogyny and racism has born a flood of anti-autonomy for women driven by those that want to strip us of reproductive freedoms—even of our birth control. Ever since Justice Ginsburg’s death and he who shall not be named, they are hell bent on relegating us to solely wife and breeder status (especially to LGTBQA+ or those that identify with non-binary) much more so than usual and they are getting more insidious about the ways at which they work to do exactly that. Hollywood rarely puts any radical thoughts behind the stories on women and the pregnancy/abortion choice because one, their writing and creative rooms are still run mostly by men who’ve got no clue besides the clean, uncluttered, less complicated either/or choice; and, two, that would hinder their overall social engineering propaganda angles, which—as I stated earlier—is still predominantly wealthy, white, heteronormative, and Christian. I’m sure when writers make an attempt to progress, they are shot down by network execs that don’t wanna deal with the rich conservatives that keep them in their luxurious lifestyles. I mean, to actually write a realistic storyline of a person reacting to a pregnancy along with the actual modern difficulties of it all: costs of student loans, housing, with no or little health care and that expense, daycare, the existential threat of climate change, fascism on the rise, and this is even if the person survives it medically given that maternal mortality rates are so high; no—the cost too high and then to ultimately decide to go get an abortion (if one can financially and legally) and not be bothered about it, but actually be relived of the burden while not be ostracized and shamed by utilizing that choice and being completely comfortable with it?? I would LOVE to see more stories like that and that’s just one of the many that we could tell.

    I would never be hired for anything in Hollywood as I’m sure my opinions have and would piss off TPTB continually. I listened to Gabrielle Union on Hear to Slay with Roxane Gay and Tressie McMillan Cottom, which is, BTW, absolutely fabulous and so worth the annual fee: there are two seasons (74 episodes; 45m-1hr eps) worth of podcasts to go through plus new ones; Dr. Gay and Dr. McMillan Cottom are two sublimely empowered goddesses filled and radiating loads of wisdom and beauty that will lift you into the stratosphere along with them as well as all their guests (Stacey Abrams and Gabrielle Union so far); and, I really, really needed that boost—I cannot begin to explain to you how much the first couple of episodes have not only inspired me but educated me. Anywho, I listened to Gabrielle Union talk about Hollywood and I thought no fucking way would they EVER hire me for anything since I’m constantly dragging on Hollywood and all their inadequacies—and I’m not going to stop. Like Joe Biden and DC, Hollywood and their ilk has enough sycophants around them telling them what they wanna hear and I’m not one of them.

    The weather is picking up finally. I went outside and walked the past few days. Today will be cold and rainy. When it is like that, I use my poor woman’s treadmill method of walking back and forth in the combined kitchen-living room: back and forth, back and forth, etc. for forty-five minutes. Normally, I love walking in the rain, but these past few years and especially around these parts, motorists are fucking crazy and will run over you without so much a care to see if you are alright or dead—they simply do not give a shit if they hit you.

    Politics? Joe Manchin is not a Democrat and he shows who he is by throwing fits about women of color including Neera Tandem, Deb Haaland, VP Harris, and AOC—we see you, Joe; he’s pandering to his racist misogynistic base. With the minimum wage? Like AOC said, keeping the minimum wage low means they are legislating poverty and having the government subsidizing the employees of these big billion/trillion dollar corporations letting them off the hook once again; along with their large tax cuts, these corporations are killing us by exploiting their workers and shifting responsibility of their care to government, which is the exact opposite of what Republicans are supposedly supposed to be all about. Rich peepo double-dipping in their greed and power—who woulda thought. /sarcasm

    We passed 500k deaths. Sigh.

    Worldwide COVID cases: 113,097,790; Deaths: 2,509,666
    US COVID cases: 28,413,746; Deaths: 508,314

© 2021 Matilda London/Pamela Gay Mullins

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One comment

  1. Pingback: Hear to Slay Podcast Review |

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